Johnny's Site

Gotta love when you give a company 2 years of your life...and work 3 p/t jobs for them, always giving it 110 percent and going above and beyond....   being well liked/LOVED by everyone....  and you go and apply for a job i could have easliy done if just givin the chance.....they go and hire outside of the station..        so with that.. i'm done with part-time jobs..  cause in the end it doesnt get you anywhere...  my search for a full time job starts tommorrow.  maybe thats Gods way of closing a door i should have closed awhile ago..who knows..  in the end..  I know God has a plan for me.. i'm just tryin to figure it out.   And really all I can say is i'm done with part time jobs.   its time to close that chapter of my life..and start making a new one :-)  cause I'm Moviing on...    and being told.. well...you were our second choice..does not help... sadly..i think i'd be more happy if i wasnt even close to getting it  lol

I'm a Type Two: The Helper
The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
 
This pretty much discribes me to the T..which is really scary cause its like...they know me..haha so weird but awesome. basically if you dont understand me.. this should help or explain why i am the way i am..  :-)  enjoy.. take the test at the end hehe


      Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.



    *   Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
    * Basic Desire: To feel loved
   

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become deeply unselfish, humble, and altruistic: giving unconditional love to self and others. Feel it is a privilege to be in the lives of others.

Level 2: Empathetic, compassionate, feeling for others. Caring and concerned about their needs. Thoughtful, warm-hearted, forgiving and sincere.

Level 3: Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving—a truly loving person.

Average Levels

Level 4: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing," becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love is their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly.

Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill.

Level 6: Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is.

Level 8: Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors.

Level 9: Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions result in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others. Generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.
(ps that was SOO TRUE..its so weird)

Examples: Mother Teresa, Barbara Bush, Eleanor Roosevelt, Leo Buscaglia, Bill Cosby, Barry Manilow, Lionel Richie,  Luciano Pavarotti, Lillian Carter, Sammy Davis, Jr., Martin Sheen, Robert Fulghum, Alan Alda, Richard Thomas, Jack Paar, Sally Jessy Raphael, Bishop Desmond Tutu


http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/QUEST/quest.asp   take it tooo i'll help you if you dont understand it :-)

A lot of us guys assume that part of being a man requires handling life on our own.  This distorted view of independence makes sense when we look at our boyhood heroes - characters played by John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, the Lone Ranger and Han Solo.  Using a military metaphor, Ezekiel points out the errors in thinking this way.  He reminds us that we face a true spiritual battle and that - whether or not we want to admit it - we need help on the battlefield.

Just as God places Ezekiel on guard to stand watch over Israel, so we also need friends who care about us to stand watch in our lives.  And our true friends won't just tell us what we want to hear; they'll say things we need to hear.

Sometimes a friend standing watch will point out the enemy of discouragement.  This watchman senses when you're going though a tough time or when your feel deflated, and he offers words of hope and friendship.

Sometimes a friend standing watch will urge you to fight the enemy of bad influences. This watchman confronts you when you spend too much time with people whose perspectives on life harm you.  He even helps you connect with different circles of godly men - starting with his own friendship.

And at other times a friend standing watch will fight alongside you during a tough battle, He encourages you and finds ways to help you reach your goals.

Ultimately, you hope that the friend you reply upon to hold you accountable will always guide you back to God.  Hey, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto..and Batman had Robin.



What friend stands guard in your life?  how does he serve as a watchman?

If you cant think of someone who serves as a watchman for you..what steps can you take to find a friend who'll always remind you to turn back to God?

Why is it important to have a friend standing watch over your life?

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself.

You have to know that you are a good person and a good friend.

What is meant to be will end up good and what is not, won't.

Some things are worth fighting for.

But sometimes you can't be the only one fighting.

At times, people need to fight for you.

If they don't, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don't lose something real.


Always fight,
until you can't anymore,
and then be fought for...


i read this and LOVED it because its soooo true...  cause it  has to do with everyday life. has to do with people, friends, and situations..    some friends come in your life.. and then some friends go out of your life.. sometimes for a few days, weeks, months, years, but the real ones stick around thou thick and thin and every time you see its like no time has pasted.  And then just when you think they forgot bout you.. they send a tex, or call, or something random.  God has a plan. and we just have to realize that. and realize that we are worth fighting for to keep as friends.  And if not time to move on.    I just pray that i really fought till i couldn't fight no more...   i need to cut back with being so busy and make time for my friends, but my friends also have to make time for me.  Signs of a true friend someone who will drop whatever it is they are doing to talk even at 2am... to chill no matter whats going on.. to be there for you no matter whats going on..   or at least acknowledge that something is going on...   to pray for each other and hold each other accountable...    its something we all have to work at little harder at.  I just hope that i live up to being a good friend to people. because sometimes i feel i suck. But its something you work at.. and get better at.  If your reading this  you are my FRIEND and i LOVE YOU... and you mean SO MUCH TO ME.  so hit me back and lemme know what you though or just leave a comment :-)

I hope I'm there for you as much as your there for me..and if I'm not I'm truly sorry and i'm working on that.. right now :-D   because GOD ROCKS

(I have this " Healing Comes to the Broken Places First" shirt and sweat shirt and the meaning behind it just got SOOO MUCH DEEPER.. def going to be my next tattoo.. dont u steal my idea )

 

here i stand.. wondering how it's come to this.

my face stained with tears,
my mind filled with grief,
and my broken heart lying in my weak hands

the beautiful LIfe
i've so often touched
seems so distant now
and all around me
i'm swallowed up by my pain

but somehow somewhere
i sense a distant shaking
it starts slowly, and grows steadily
and as it becomes overwhelming
pure light slices through this oppressive darkness

revealing my sin
and my dirty, sick heart

and in this blinding light
all my pretenses fall to the ground
and i'm left there
it's me and You
and I have nothing to say
except "save me, Father"

And as You reach out
and touch my broken places
I feel my shame, apathy, and selfishness melting away
You're not intimidated by my sin
or afraid of my evil, twisted thoughts

Once again I dare to hope
Once again I dare to love
Once again, I realize..

You are the Faithful One in my life
You are the One who sets my heart free
You are Good thrown into this dark world

and you make All Things New.

This story is totally true and i swear i didn't make it up.. lol.

Tonight God used me in such an awesome way..

Well tonight i was suppose to get a ride home from work with Ashlee... but she didn't answer her phone and i knew if i left the station asap i could make the next train.. and this way Ashlee could head straight home and not have to go out of her way to drop me off... so i long board to the station and get there and i walk to my normal spot i wait at to board the train.. and i had to pass about 10 drunk girls to do this.. and i could hear them yelling stuff .. prob about my big board but that's besides the point lol anywayy ... the train gets here.. I could have gotten on the train with the girls but I didn't i walked down to the next train and i got on the train next to the girls. I sit a seat back from the other train so I'm right next to the door that attaches to the other train.. I have my headphones on and i kick back and close my eyes for a good 5 mins.. but then i stop and look around and decided it wasn't a good idea at night i might fall asleep or miss my stop.. so I'm looking around thinking about stuff.. and we stop at the first stop in Camden.. and the train stops..and i watch as one of the drunk girls stumbles off the train and she doesn't look like shes gonna be on her feet much longer.. so shes stumbling and then leans toward the train..and.. she falls right in between the train. i YELL STOP THE TRAIN and jump up rip my headphones off and pull the door open leading to the other train.. as i look down i see her moving, i look out to yell to someone and there just so happens to be a trash guy doing the trash he didn't see her fall but he heard something i yell she fell on the tracks pointing down. as i jump down i hear the doors closing on the train and the brakes releasing.... the trash man screams and bangs on the train to stop and i hear the trains brakes go on.. ( i was about to grab her and pull her under the platform) but i jumped back up with a foot on each side of the train and pulled her up as two other men helped her on to the platform and her friends walk her back to the train.. i turn around and go back thru the door i came out of and every ones staring around asking what the heck just happened.. and in shock.. so i return to my seat in shock of what just happened and was like.. WOW God your AWESOME i cant believe he used me tonight like that.. I'm so glad i was able to react and not just be that guy to sit there or freeze up. But i seriously just thank GOD for everything he let happen tonight cause so many things happened in order for that to happen.. what if i go out early..what if i missed the train..what if i was sleeping..what if i didn't sit where i sat..what if i was on the other train.. what if what if.. man.. all i gotta say is GOD ROCKS and .... that silly drunk girl is REALLY LUCKY God was smiling down on her tonight and hopefully taught them all a lesson

Ps I'm still in shock that it happened.. it seemed just like a movie... only we didn't talk afterwards... fall in love and get married LOL oh well maybe next time :-P

Waiting... waiting for the day Jesus wipes my memories away.. my tears.. my hard times.... waiting for him to wipe them away... far far away..... waiting to filled with Joy.. and Happiness.... waiting for the clutter that remains finally to be wiped away... so the pain is no longer there.... transform my heart.... Transform....my heart....  Actually.. don't wipe them away.. dont wipe my memories away because they help me, help others... dont wipe my tears away because they helped me heal... and don't wipe my hard times away because they made me stronger... but do continue to fill me with Joy and Happiness... so i can be that person you made me to be.. that person you continue to work on... that person that you will continue to use in any situation you want... that person that you will continue to transform... and that person is ME.